I can't even begin to describe how exhausted I am. Seriously, I'm like one of the walking dead. Why? Because Pathophysiology class is eating me alive. Patho class is so challenging, and I feel so totally stupid in there ... all I want is to answer one little question correctly so I can get a pen. Dr. G gives a pen to whoever answers questions in class. The girl on the front row? Man! she has racked up a mountain of pens. I, however, have no pens. And every time that girl on the front row just casually and coolly lets the correct answer roll off her tongue before I've even had a chance to figure out what the question was? I want to smack her in the head with my 20 lb. Patho book and then ask her to explain THAT physiological response to the class. We have the first exam next week, and the amount of stress I'm feeling is unlike anything I've ever known. Ironically, the stess response will be covered on this exam.
My favorite thing about Patho class is that Dr. G ends practically every sentence with "... and then you die." This totally cracks me up. Tuesday, when I was already sleep-deprived and feeling punchy, it was all I could do to hold it together every time he said it. And now I have a compulsion to end every sentence I utter with " ... and then you die."
The other class is online. It's just weird and time-consuming. At least Patho is interesting and USEFUL. The online class is typical of the bullshit classes that are created to justify life in academia. It's exactly the kind of class that made me never ever want to get a Ph.D.
Oh, and since things are not stressful enough, and I have so much free time on my hands ... Health Assessment class starts a week from Monday. It's almost as though the powers that be are all like, "Okay, you seem to be surviving and haven't yet had a complete nervous breakdown, so we're going to turn up the heat a bit." ... and then you die.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Freak show
Several times today I have described myself as a "deer in the headlights". But upon closer self-reflection, I realize that what I am experiencing is more akin to the squirrel that runs into the road and then gets freaked out about the car coming toward it and starts frantically running back and forth only to suddenly just freeze ... in exactly the wrong spot. That pretty much sums up my experience during my first week of nursing school.
On a positive note, I'm not the only squirrel. And some of the other squirrels? Well, they're pretty damn cool.
On a positive note, I'm not the only squirrel. And some of the other squirrels? Well, they're pretty damn cool.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Hi-Ho And Away We Go ....
So, I'm off and running. Today was my first day of nursing school, and I would by lying if I said that I got a good night's sleep prior to my 8am class. I was so excited that there was no sleeping for most of the night. Just little blips of dozing interrupted by bursts of energy brought on by 1) getting the scholarship that will pay for all of school, and 2) my FIRST DAY OF NURSING SCHOOL.
Yep, I got the scholarship! Even though I felt like a complete mess when I showed up for my interview. I went to bed early and set the alarm for 6am so I would have plenty of time to eat a good breakfast, get dressed and look my freshest best. It was a great plan, only I forgot to actually turn the alarm ON. So I awoke a little before 8am and immediate went into panic mode. No breakfast. No looking my freshest best. And to make matters worse, Mother Nature forgot it was spring and dosed us with some pretty chilly, rainy weather, so the perfectly professional-looking, short-sleeved, bone-colored top I was to wear had to be covered by ... WHAT? I flew through my closet and a small miracle jumped out and said, "I match that top perfectly." I actually have in my possession a bone-colored, suede blazer that I got in a thrift store several years ago. The one and only time I ever wore that blazer I managed to get blue ink marks in, not one, but two places on the front. One of the blue ink spots is down low and not too noticeable. But the other one? The other one was standing up straight and tall, front and center on my chest. Not having the time to worry about it, I held my arm and purse in just the right position to cover it, and hoped the man who was interviewing me wouldn't see it. Thank god I don't have attention-grabbing boobs.
The interview went very well, and I floated out of his office on a nice, big, fluffy, white cloud of joy.
Today, I got up and - this is another fine example of what a total dork I am - I actually announced, out loud, to my dogs, "Today is the first day of the rest of our lives, guys. Today, I start nursing school." And they were all like, "Kibble? Did you just say kibble?"
My first nursing class: Pathophysiology, 8am. All I can say is it's a damn good thing I find this stuff interesting. And the material is so hard and there's SO MUCH OF IT that will be crammed into my head in a very short amount of time, that I feel challenged to kick this class's ass. That's right, I want to be the valedictorian of Pathophys.
My other class is online, and, from the looks of things? It's going to be a royal pain in the rear. I started hyperventilating when I read the syllabus, and immediately called my friend D. so we could have a shared panic attack. This class was originally scheduled to be in lecture format, but apparently it's so awful that they can't even get anyone to TEACH it, so at the last minute, it became an online class. I do not like online classes. Online classes do not provide the structure and adult supervision that I need ... sigh. Hopefully, my new BFFs at school will help keep me from drowning.
Speaking of my new BFFs at school ... Since today was the first day of class, and hence, the first day that I got a good look at the folks I will be spending the next 1.5 years with, I took a good look around at my classmates. It's an interesting group of folks for sure, and I have to say that I'm glad I already knew D. and M. and R. going into it. The thing that really struck me was how old some of the folks are ... and then I found out they are MY AGE! Then I reflected back on a conversation I had last week with A. who insisted that there is "NO WAY" I am 40. I spent a good 20 minutes trying to convince him that I am. So, I've decided that, hence forth, I shall be known as She Who Is 30 ... Again. Not because I have a problem with being 40, but because my 30s kind of sucked the first time 'round and because I get tired of having the conversation that ends with, "No, seriously, I REALLY AM 40". So, why not? Mom loves this idea, because if I take off a decade then she has to also, which will make her 56 this Thursday.
Happy Birthday, Mom!
Yep, I got the scholarship! Even though I felt like a complete mess when I showed up for my interview. I went to bed early and set the alarm for 6am so I would have plenty of time to eat a good breakfast, get dressed and look my freshest best. It was a great plan, only I forgot to actually turn the alarm ON. So I awoke a little before 8am and immediate went into panic mode. No breakfast. No looking my freshest best. And to make matters worse, Mother Nature forgot it was spring and dosed us with some pretty chilly, rainy weather, so the perfectly professional-looking, short-sleeved, bone-colored top I was to wear had to be covered by ... WHAT? I flew through my closet and a small miracle jumped out and said, "I match that top perfectly." I actually have in my possession a bone-colored, suede blazer that I got in a thrift store several years ago. The one and only time I ever wore that blazer I managed to get blue ink marks in, not one, but two places on the front. One of the blue ink spots is down low and not too noticeable. But the other one? The other one was standing up straight and tall, front and center on my chest. Not having the time to worry about it, I held my arm and purse in just the right position to cover it, and hoped the man who was interviewing me wouldn't see it. Thank god I don't have attention-grabbing boobs.
The interview went very well, and I floated out of his office on a nice, big, fluffy, white cloud of joy.
Today, I got up and - this is another fine example of what a total dork I am - I actually announced, out loud, to my dogs, "Today is the first day of the rest of our lives, guys. Today, I start nursing school." And they were all like, "Kibble? Did you just say kibble?"
My first nursing class: Pathophysiology, 8am. All I can say is it's a damn good thing I find this stuff interesting. And the material is so hard and there's SO MUCH OF IT that will be crammed into my head in a very short amount of time, that I feel challenged to kick this class's ass. That's right, I want to be the valedictorian of Pathophys.
My other class is online, and, from the looks of things? It's going to be a royal pain in the rear. I started hyperventilating when I read the syllabus, and immediately called my friend D. so we could have a shared panic attack. This class was originally scheduled to be in lecture format, but apparently it's so awful that they can't even get anyone to TEACH it, so at the last minute, it became an online class. I do not like online classes. Online classes do not provide the structure and adult supervision that I need ... sigh. Hopefully, my new BFFs at school will help keep me from drowning.
Speaking of my new BFFs at school ... Since today was the first day of class, and hence, the first day that I got a good look at the folks I will be spending the next 1.5 years with, I took a good look around at my classmates. It's an interesting group of folks for sure, and I have to say that I'm glad I already knew D. and M. and R. going into it. The thing that really struck me was how old some of the folks are ... and then I found out they are MY AGE! Then I reflected back on a conversation I had last week with A. who insisted that there is "NO WAY" I am 40. I spent a good 20 minutes trying to convince him that I am. So, I've decided that, hence forth, I shall be known as She Who Is 30 ... Again. Not because I have a problem with being 40, but because my 30s kind of sucked the first time 'round and because I get tired of having the conversation that ends with, "No, seriously, I REALLY AM 40". So, why not? Mom loves this idea, because if I take off a decade then she has to also, which will make her 56 this Thursday.
Happy Birthday, Mom!
Thursday, May 8, 2008
It's Nothing A Drink Won't Fix
Here's a run-down of what all happened yesterday:
1. wrote a huge check for tuition that sucked every precious, little copper-topped penny out of my savings account
2. picked up my super cool lab coat with its nifty CON patch on the shoulder
3. spent time volunteering at the American Red Cross ... totally fun! and the guy I was hanging with there? oh yeah, totally hot ... and totally engaged to a she-cop.
4. went to a cook-out that included others of my ilk, i.e. nurse nerds ... and here's the point I want to run with ...
The cook-out was fun. Not a huge crowd, and mostly made up of nursing nerds, kung fu freaks, and computer geeks (with some folks falling into more than one of those categories). For such a weirdo mix of people, it was oddly comfortable, and the conversations were very interesting and funny.
At one point several of us nursing nerds were in the kitchen snacking and talking when a non-nursing nerd suddenly turned and puked in the sink (too much Jaeger for that one). AND NOT ONE OF US stopped our snacking or conversation, or even so much as batted an eye. Somebody leaned in and asked the puker if she was okay, she nodded yes, and that was that. It was as if this kind of thing happens all the time. And we are so desensitized to it that we can just keep right on eating in the midst of someone who is yacking.
If that was some kind of test, we all passed with flying colors.
And the big news: Monday, 9am, scholarship interview .... keep sending the good vibes, thinking the good thoughts, praying the good prayers, and rubbing the Buddha bellies!
1. wrote a huge check for tuition that sucked every precious, little copper-topped penny out of my savings account
2. picked up my super cool lab coat with its nifty CON patch on the shoulder
3. spent time volunteering at the American Red Cross ... totally fun! and the guy I was hanging with there? oh yeah, totally hot ... and totally engaged to a she-cop.
4. went to a cook-out that included others of my ilk, i.e. nurse nerds ... and here's the point I want to run with ...
The cook-out was fun. Not a huge crowd, and mostly made up of nursing nerds, kung fu freaks, and computer geeks (with some folks falling into more than one of those categories). For such a weirdo mix of people, it was oddly comfortable, and the conversations were very interesting and funny.
At one point several of us nursing nerds were in the kitchen snacking and talking when a non-nursing nerd suddenly turned and puked in the sink (too much Jaeger for that one). AND NOT ONE OF US stopped our snacking or conversation, or even so much as batted an eye. Somebody leaned in and asked the puker if she was okay, she nodded yes, and that was that. It was as if this kind of thing happens all the time. And we are so desensitized to it that we can just keep right on eating in the midst of someone who is yacking.
If that was some kind of test, we all passed with flying colors.
And the big news: Monday, 9am, scholarship interview .... keep sending the good vibes, thinking the good thoughts, praying the good prayers, and rubbing the Buddha bellies!
Monday, May 5, 2008
Confirmed: I'm A Dork
Last night I dreamed I made a 73 on my Anatomy & Physiology final. I was absolutely distraught. It was one of those horrible dreams - the kind you wake up from feeling all defeated and BAD. Let me just say, again, for the record: College is bad for your health, and not in a fun way.
Today, I turned in my scholarship application. If everyone will stop praying for world peace for just one second to send a little prayer up for me to get this scholarship, I would REALLY appreciate it. If I get this scholarship, I might be able to quit one of my jobs.
During CON orientation on Friday, one of the things that was stressed about our nursing program is that it is accelerated and content intensive. They basically said, "Good luck if you're going to try to work at a job and succeed in this program."
The other exciting thing that I did today was to get my lab coat. I think it's probably the coolest lab coat in the world, so I'm pretty excited about it. The store I'm getting it from gave all of us at orientation a $5 coupon - five bucks isn't all that much, but it did make a difference. My coat plus the school patch plus having the nice folks at the store sew the patch on was all less than $20 with the coupon! SCORE! That's a pretty smokin' deal, if you ask me.
Today, I turned in my scholarship application. If everyone will stop praying for world peace for just one second to send a little prayer up for me to get this scholarship, I would REALLY appreciate it. If I get this scholarship, I might be able to quit one of my jobs.
During CON orientation on Friday, one of the things that was stressed about our nursing program is that it is accelerated and content intensive. They basically said, "Good luck if you're going to try to work at a job and succeed in this program."
The other exciting thing that I did today was to get my lab coat. I think it's probably the coolest lab coat in the world, so I'm pretty excited about it. The store I'm getting it from gave all of us at orientation a $5 coupon - five bucks isn't all that much, but it did make a difference. My coat plus the school patch plus having the nice folks at the store sew the patch on was all less than $20 with the coupon! SCORE! That's a pretty smokin' deal, if you ask me.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Covering My Butt
Last year I was warned by C who was already in nursing school, "Make copies of EVERYTHING you turn in to the office of the CON." Apparently these folks have quite the reputation for losing things. I'm not talking about the nursing professors, those responsible for turning us into highly skilled professionals. No, I'm talking about the administrators, the people in charge of my PERMANENT FILE. The people who, with one wrongly placed X on an official document, could put me on a course that no GPS on the planet could make right again.
I want to thank C again for the heads up.
The first hoop I had to jump through following my acceptance into the program was to gather together all kinds of information and signed documents, get immunizations and a physical, take an assessment exam, and turn it all in within THREE WEEKS! of acceptance. This was a pretty significant feat to accomplish in such a short amount of time since I still had to go to class full time and work two jobs, but I did it. And, most importantly, I made copies of everything. Which was a good thing, because a week after I turned it all in? Oh yeah, I got this message from the office of the CON:
TRAUMA QUEEN,
WE DO NOT HAVE YOUR CLINICAL REQUIREMENTS. IF YOU DO NOT TURN IN THIS INFORMATION, YOU WILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO ATTEND CLASS.
And yes, it was all CAPS and bold. Those folks sure know how to make a person feel all warm and welcome. I immediately replied:
Hi, K
I turned in all of my material last week, on Monday. Was there something missing from my packet?
Trauma Queen
But rather than wait for a reply, I went over to the office to handle the matter in person. I told K again that I had handed my packet of information to B and it was on her desk when I left the office the previous Monday. K was just a teensy bit condescending when she said, "Well, we don't have it." And so was I when I said, "Well, it's here somewhere, but I did make copies of everything just in case something like this happened." Then K said she would look in my file - my PERMANENT FILE! - on the chance that my packet had been put there before crossing her desk. And lo and behold! Crazy though it may sound, my packet had indeed been placed in my PERMANENT FILE. I asked K if everything was there. She looked through it and with a friendly smile said it was all in order.
Trauma Queen: 1
CON: 0
I want to thank C again for the heads up.
The first hoop I had to jump through following my acceptance into the program was to gather together all kinds of information and signed documents, get immunizations and a physical, take an assessment exam, and turn it all in within THREE WEEKS! of acceptance. This was a pretty significant feat to accomplish in such a short amount of time since I still had to go to class full time and work two jobs, but I did it. And, most importantly, I made copies of everything. Which was a good thing, because a week after I turned it all in? Oh yeah, I got this message from the office of the CON:
TRAUMA QUEEN,
WE DO NOT HAVE YOUR CLINICAL REQUIREMENTS. IF YOU DO NOT TURN IN THIS INFORMATION, YOU WILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO ATTEND CLASS.
And yes, it was all CAPS and bold. Those folks sure know how to make a person feel all warm and welcome. I immediately replied:
Hi, K
I turned in all of my material last week, on Monday. Was there something missing from my packet?
Trauma Queen
But rather than wait for a reply, I went over to the office to handle the matter in person. I told K again that I had handed my packet of information to B and it was on her desk when I left the office the previous Monday. K was just a teensy bit condescending when she said, "Well, we don't have it." And so was I when I said, "Well, it's here somewhere, but I did make copies of everything just in case something like this happened." Then K said she would look in my file - my PERMANENT FILE! - on the chance that my packet had been put there before crossing her desk. And lo and behold! Crazy though it may sound, my packet had indeed been placed in my PERMANENT FILE. I asked K if everything was there. She looked through it and with a friendly smile said it was all in order.
Trauma Queen: 1
CON: 0
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